100 Days of Fair and Balanced

Here's a little something called Fox News. Now the wingnuts will give each other high fives and reacharounds and laud the ratings of all the queer shows this network carries, but it's funny how on election day these ratings don't turn into votes.

The twenty eight percenters have nowhere else to go to get their distorted world views validated. So enjoy your network and rub one out for me.


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My 100 Day Grade

The First 100 Days have been SWEET!!!!

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I got swine flu when I porked this bitch.

Michelle, my bell. Only you could blame the libs for swine flu. Can Minnesota seceed? I mean, Jesse Ventura? Al Franken? I think the brain cells need to thaw out up there. Maybe Global Warming will help these poor dolts figure it out.

Too bad it was actually Gerald Ford that was president when the last outbreak occurred. I was alive then and it wasn't Ford's fault. It was Howard Cosell.

And my niece has hastefully joined the San Francisco Young Republicans.

I promise to get waterboarded for 1 second (live on this website) for every week they list me on their blogroll. Have they got the guts? Or will they cower like chickenhawk Hannity.

Link

Vegas Wrap Up

Well I won my first ever first place, live Las Vegas tournament. Took a fifth in another and came out on the plus side for the trip. Ironically I was not feeling great and didn't get shit faced drunk at any point, probably just a coincidence that I do better sober.

But are the good times about to end....??? Funny boy Texas Gov Rick Perry fresh off his F-You Washington DC teabag hijinx, is now asking for federal help to fight the pig flu epidemic. I thought he didn't want no gol darn liberal DC commies messin with Texas?




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Vegas Day 1

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Here I go again, this time it's personal.

Currently I am waiting to head to the airport. Brother 1 will meet me there.

Brother 2 is already there and judging by this photo, trying to make some extra dough.

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Dick Cheney made me watch this video 186 times in one month.

Hanson - New Music - More Music Videos

Watch this Video or you are a Hockey Puck.

You spin me right round, baby right round like a record baby... AW CRAP!

Wait for it....wait for it.....

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Wow, this hits close to home.

Top Ten 10 Republican Lies about Taxes

The truth may set you free, but not if you're a Republican and the subject is taxes. After all, 95% of American families as promised received a tax cut from the Obama stimulus package. And while three-quarters of Americans support President Obama's proposal to roll back the Bush tax cuts for those earning over $250,000 to their Clinton-era levels, it turns out that affluent voters, too, chose Barack Obama over John McCain. Making matters worse, a Gallup poll Monday revealed that Americans' "views of income taxes among most positive since 1956."
So as their furious followers head off to their April 15th orgy of tea-bagging, the leadership of the GOP and its amen corner in the right-wing media have instead turned to tall tales on taxes.

Here, then, are 10 Republican Tax Day lies:

President Obama will raise taxes on small businesses.
The estate tax devastates small businesses and family farms.
40% of Americans pay no taxes
Tax cuts always increase revenue.
The GOP is the party of fiscal discipline.
Ronald Reagan was the greatest tax cutter of all time.
FDR caused the Great Depression, or at least made it worse.
Obama's cap-and-trade plan will cost each American family $3,100 a year.
Obama's tax proposals will undermine charitable giving.
The rich pay too much in taxes already.

Read the entire kick ass article here

Conservative Wit

Here are three of the wittiest posters you will see anywhere, I wish I was this funny.

Don't be a square

The official song of the teabaggers

In honor of Tea Bag day, here is Lucille Ball tossing Milton Berles salad.

HAHAHAHA! Get it. She tossed his salad! Gross!

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tea bag today, tossed salad tomorrow

If you get it, you get it, if you don't you never will

Commentator on 'Hannity' tries to tell Sean not to be a total prick.

And I am guessing he won't be back on the show for quite some time.



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Your digital cable TV converter is a liberal brainwashing unit.

Get your kids out of college, burn the books, and smash your TV, you are being duped into a liberal brainwashed zombie.

Wake up America, before it's too late.......judging by this video, it already is.

Gingrich kicks a puppy

Well, here is what we have waited for since election night. The first photo of Bo Obama. The dog is Portugese, which has Lou Dobbs all upset. Newt Gingrich (who has aspirations of a Presidential run) has called him stupid and said if he comes in his yard he'll drop kick the son of a bitch. Karl Rove was seen lurking in the background with a jar of Peanut Butter and weird grin on his face.

There's a reason they call me Simon Scuddamore

I am a diabolical liberal according to Neil (and bob?) Cavuto. I will be infiltrating your looney Tea Parties to seek comedic material. Maybe some birth certificate conspiracy loons will be my prey, or possibly a secret muslin whack job.
In the words of Paul Krugman, "The Republicans have become embarrassing to watch."


My last known photo:

Rove calls Biden a Liar.

Pedophile, scatmuncher Karl Rove is on the right wing gay pundit trail with his fat head and his sausage-like fingers calling Joe Biden a Liar.

What a pathetic old queen, stooping to name calling.

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other stuff

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Click this --->Here is the other book I wrote

this what happens when you get gay married



This commercial hates Bush

Top Shelf Dogfood had nothing to do with the casting, planning, direction or production of this video

Go Milk Yourself

Where my Mentor went wrong.

Like every great student of game theory I was reviewing the DVD of my true master and I found something so fundamentally flawed it shook me to the very core of my being.

Patrick has taught me the true genius of the UP and Pull regressive betting method, I have combined this with counting cards to develop my patented "No-heat card counting method" but where Patrick is wrong is in his surrender teachings.
Patrick wants you to surrender the hard 4,5,6,7,14,15,16,17 vs any 9,10 or Ace dealer upcard. The only mathematically correct surrender is the 16 vs the 9,10 or ACE.

Even his explanation on the surrender 17 is bogus, he writes:

"The dealer will tie or beat you 75% of the time..."

This is true, but you don't lose money on ties, you lose half your money every time you surrender.

Looking at 20 hands where you bet $10 and got a hard 17 vs. a dealer 10, if you surrender all 20 you lose $100. On average you will lose 13 win 4 and push 3. You will only lose $90. The ratio is even more in your favor for the 4,5,6,7,14,and 15.

All in all I still reguard Patrick to be one of the best.....but I the student have surpassed the teacher, please order my book online by clicking the sidebar ad.

All proceeds go directly to ACORN.

You're not losing your liberty, you're just losing.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	M - Th 11p / 10c
Baracknophobia - Obey
comedycentral.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Economic Crisis Political Humor

Future President?

Mission Accomplished. Hussein back in Baghdad.

Making GWB even more irrelevant.

Speaking of irrelevent...check this out!

It's not a lie, if you believe it.

!norom a era uoY

The kind of guy who gave Bush a standing ovation at todays Ranger game

This Stanford guy speaks/acts with all the "passion" of a true Republican a/k/a used car salesman -- just like the lying Sean Hannity, the neutered mysogist Newt Gingrich and the pitbull Sarah Palin. When they speak, you know they're lying. When they add yelling, screaming, fake emotions and threats -- well, they're just being "passionate" for their cheerleading dunces. Somebody please show some love to the "pet" republicans so they can stop crying for the pitchfork crew to revolt against them! Rot in jail Sir Stanford. Please! Oh yeah. Hey Stanford, where are your boys Bush, Paulson and Cox? They left you as the fall guy, eh?

Omg, I had to fly coach the other day, and the made me take my shoes off! Then when I got home the gardner looked me in the EYE!

This is an outrage!!!!



Yes sir Stanford, you are a bigger joke than tonights NCAA title game. A game in which I and the curent President picked the overall winner. See you in Vegas in few weeks where my lady will be my bitch once again.

Gingrich would have taken out the North Korean missile because if they use a pinch, it could put us in barney.

Somehow the Newt thinks that at any moment the North Koreans could disable half of the US with an EMP device and then they could rob the Bellagio main vault. It only stands to reason they could do this even though they can seem to get a rocket into orbit. You see Newt is like Terry Benedict and he ain't gonna take no crap from Danny Ocean, let's just hope Julia Roberts doesn't get Cancer or he'll divorce her on her deathbed.

Iowa goes gay.

The Hawkeye state has always been kinda closet homo, with their college wrestling and all, but now they have stunned the heartland and declared banning gay marriage unconstitutional. I am going to have to take off the Iowa sticker from my car, because I live in Texas now and I might get rear ended. University of Iowa Basketball coach, Todd Lickliter could not be reached for comment. Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilley and Glen Beck all reacted to the decision by dousing themselves with astroglide and jumping into a bounce house together.


enjoy!

High Brow Humor

Hey, check out that flaming queen

That uppity Michelle broke protocal and hugged the queen. For shame.

Rush knows his butthole related diseases

Today the 4F clown chortled: Obama May Give Gordon Brown "Anal Poisoning"

Kinda funny since Rush used a pimple on his bottom to get out of serving in Vietnam. Now he's a big tough guy of course.

You know Rush has been married three times and failed to produce any spawn in those three marriages. Maybe he was doing it wrong and ASSumes your always supposed to do it in the butt. Just like his Uncle taught him in the woodshed.